Sunday, October 28, 2012
The Importance of Self-Care in Your Relationship: Six Reasons to Start Today!
When you get involved with someone new, it can be all too easy to put all your attention on that relationship and begin to lose yourself. Similarly, when you've been with someone for a long time, it's easy to assume you're on the same page about things without checking in with yourself to make sure. You may find yourself saying “we” more than “I,” and you may find yourself minimizing hurtful things your partner does in order to keep the peace.
Romantic relationships by nature are the closest relationships we have with other human beings, so taking time for self-care in the context of a romantic relationship is both more important than with other relationships and, paradoxically, harder to do. But engaging in self-care while you're with a partner is well worth the effort. Self-care in a relationship means spending time apart, thinking honestly about both the good and the bad in the relationship, working on self-improvement, maintaining
boundaries, and letting go or having difficult conversations when you need to. Here are the top reasons to make your self-care a priority in your relationship.
1. Taking time apart from one another helps you appreciate the time you spend together. Just like the old song “How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?” spending time apart from your significant other helps you both to miss each other and get excited about seeing one another again.
2. Having tough conversations strengthens your bond — or helps you to realize that it's not worth strengthening. When you strive to avoid conflict with your partner at all times, you're not being true to your own feelings. If something is bothering you, trust your gut and talk it over with him or her. Either you'll come out on the other end understanding each other better, or you'll realize that you weren't
meant to be. Either way, you'll both be better off for your bravery.
3. Maintaining friendships outside of your relationship makes you more well-rounded. The bond you have with your partner may be what's most important to you, but if you let your friendships suffer as a result, you won't feel fulfilled. Our friends provide for us what our romantic partner cannot, and they'll still be there even if the relationship ends.
4. Thinking honestly about the relationship helps you to see if it's building you up or bringing you down. When you're face to face with your partner, it's sometimes hard to think logically about whether the relationship is toxic or enriching. When you spend time away from that person, you can notice how you feel when you think about him or her — does your chest get tight and you feel anxious,
or do you smile involuntarily and feel a rush of love? Now, without the pressure of that person being there beside you, you're free to make the right decisions for you based on that knowledge.
5. Learning new things during time apart keeps you interesting to each other. If you spend every moment together, what do you have to talk about? Take a class on your own, meet new people, go traveling or explore a hobby you don't share, and when you come together again, you'll have new knowledge and stories to share with each other.
6. When you put yourself first, you always get what you need. In relationships, it's easy to get lost in the other person's needs and desires, but by always putting the other person first, you can sometimes wind up resentful when you don't get what you need. Take the time to make sure your needs are fulfilled, and you'll both have more to give each other. Remember what they always say on airplanes — put your own mask on first before helping others. You don't want to run out of air trying to
save someone else.
About the Author:
Gwen Stewart is a marketing guru for clients of Outbounding.com. She works far too many hours, but has made a personal goal of eliminating Sunday from her work week. Her vision for the Fall includes one hour of yoga 4 times each week, homemade soup, saving for retirement, and time off work. She also believes that a mini face lift can transform and empower a soul.
This is a sponsored post. Image taken from Flickr.
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Posted by My Springfield Mommy at 5:03 PM